I have 31 days until I know precisely which schools have accepted me, and I'll probably know where I'm going a few days after that.
(YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!)
I'm going to Virginia in nine days.
I have school and dance again tomorrow.
I can totally do this. I don't know how this happened, but my confidence is back. I like it that way.
A month is something I can deal with. A month is... manageable, quantifiable, look-I-just-have-one-more-calendar-page kind of good, and I'm really happy about that. I have one month.
I have a list of things I need to do, but I know I can deal with it and get them done fairly easily. Hell, I'm going to enjoy this, because now it's the good kind of waiting, not the nervous hopeless long-term waiting I've been used to since December.
Dear March: I've been waiting for you. Bring it.
L
2.28.2010
2.22.2010
Bring me that horizon
Guess what I love?
Epics. See, I think I always have, but I'm just now starting to realize how fantastic they are. I mean, come on, how could I be reading them and writing them and watching epic movies and wishing I was living in one for the past six years and not notice a pattern there? Regardless, I don't really care. I love epics.
I try to tell myself that, on an extremely present level, epics are completely unrealistic and idealistic and that, as someone who tries to be objective and logical, I shouldn't buy into them; but I do. My objectivity, my grasp of the clear-cut hard edges of real life takes a holiday every time I see Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp, in all their buccaneering glory, grab a piece of rope and take out about two dozen British soldiers in thirty seconds. More than once, I've read myself half to death muscling through The Two Towers just to get to the scene at the end where Frodo and Sam are walking through the woods, talking about all the great and heroic stories they were told growing up. No matter how many times I've read it, it always kills me, and I hope that it will never lose its effect.
What am I going to do with this? I don't know. It would be amazing to write an epic, if I could find the right hero. I would know if I found one, but until then there's really nothing I can do. Finding a hero, a story, would make me honor-bound to tell it, regardless of my ability to do so well. Just like everything else, I don't know what will happen. I don't know if I want to write at all, never mind taking over a genre and a plot that Homer created, Vergil immortalized, and Tolkien carried down. No pressure there. Maybe, then, I'll just have to live it.
Yeah. Right.
L
Epics. See, I think I always have, but I'm just now starting to realize how fantastic they are. I mean, come on, how could I be reading them and writing them and watching epic movies and wishing I was living in one for the past six years and not notice a pattern there? Regardless, I don't really care. I love epics.
I try to tell myself that, on an extremely present level, epics are completely unrealistic and idealistic and that, as someone who tries to be objective and logical, I shouldn't buy into them; but I do. My objectivity, my grasp of the clear-cut hard edges of real life takes a holiday every time I see Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp, in all their buccaneering glory, grab a piece of rope and take out about two dozen British soldiers in thirty seconds. More than once, I've read myself half to death muscling through The Two Towers just to get to the scene at the end where Frodo and Sam are walking through the woods, talking about all the great and heroic stories they were told growing up. No matter how many times I've read it, it always kills me, and I hope that it will never lose its effect.
What am I going to do with this? I don't know. It would be amazing to write an epic, if I could find the right hero. I would know if I found one, but until then there's really nothing I can do. Finding a hero, a story, would make me honor-bound to tell it, regardless of my ability to do so well. Just like everything else, I don't know what will happen. I don't know if I want to write at all, never mind taking over a genre and a plot that Homer created, Vergil immortalized, and Tolkien carried down. No pressure there. Maybe, then, I'll just have to live it.
Yeah. Right.
2.14.2010
A post in which I use the word "plethora"
Creating my plethora of blogs may have been one of the best ways I've ever wasted my time. Since this year, I've really started writing more than ever, and I love it. I absolutely love re-reading what I can come up with, just like dogs love eating their own shit. Maybe, if I practice enough, I could actually do something with this. Maybe one day I'll crap out diamonds. I don't know.
Separating poetry from essays to rambling means that I can write a poem in response to something that happened during the day, then write on SAu about it and come up with an essay topic on SVe branching off the same thing, or something totally different. After I write my essay, I might go back to SAe and write on that new theme, and it just ends up being a really cool process that settles my mind and gets my thoughts down somewhere where I can process them. Not only do I have prettily designed (no self-congratulation there) places to write, I want to fill them so I can scroll through my archives and pluck out something to look over again--if my friends check up once in a while and stumble across what I have to say, that's fine. But they don't need to; it's enough that I can be my own audience.
On SAe, I've been tagging my posts to see what I write about. Unsurprisingly, I've written the most about college (considering the time) and writing (which has been a perennial favorite to write about). I just pick out themes that I find in my creative writing, and I like seeing that cloud grow--I have about 15 posts up now, and with at least three tags per post, things add up. I'm waiting until my themes start to repeat themselves, until the cloud stops growing in size and the numbers next to the words start rising. If I keep at this for a while, I can go back when I want to read something about, I don't know, water, and I'll find a few pieces from a while back where I worked H2O into what I was saying. This could turn into a really good representation of a few months, or a year, or maybe a few years of my life; how many times can you say that about a project?
If you want to see the best thing about my blog trio, just look at the post dates. I'm writing a lot now, from several times a month to a few times a day, and I think I'm getting better. Usually, I would have stopped by now, sick of an old project and ready to start a new one. I haven't yet, though, and I don't think I'll stop for a while because I set up a system of release and self-motivation. Now, I get to watch and see where the words take me.
L
Separating poetry from essays to rambling means that I can write a poem in response to something that happened during the day, then write on SAu about it and come up with an essay topic on SVe branching off the same thing, or something totally different. After I write my essay, I might go back to SAe and write on that new theme, and it just ends up being a really cool process that settles my mind and gets my thoughts down somewhere where I can process them. Not only do I have prettily designed (no self-congratulation there) places to write, I want to fill them so I can scroll through my archives and pluck out something to look over again--if my friends check up once in a while and stumble across what I have to say, that's fine. But they don't need to; it's enough that I can be my own audience.
On SAe, I've been tagging my posts to see what I write about. Unsurprisingly, I've written the most about college (considering the time) and writing (which has been a perennial favorite to write about). I just pick out themes that I find in my creative writing, and I like seeing that cloud grow--I have about 15 posts up now, and with at least three tags per post, things add up. I'm waiting until my themes start to repeat themselves, until the cloud stops growing in size and the numbers next to the words start rising. If I keep at this for a while, I can go back when I want to read something about, I don't know, water, and I'll find a few pieces from a while back where I worked H2O into what I was saying. This could turn into a really good representation of a few months, or a year, or maybe a few years of my life; how many times can you say that about a project?
If you want to see the best thing about my blog trio, just look at the post dates. I'm writing a lot now, from several times a month to a few times a day, and I think I'm getting better. Usually, I would have stopped by now, sick of an old project and ready to start a new one. I haven't yet, though, and I don't think I'll stop for a while because I set up a system of release and self-motivation. Now, I get to watch and see where the words take me.
L
2.13.2010
Nerdfighting FTW.
In going back over some of the classic Vlogbrothers' Brotherhood 2.0 videos, I decided that my affiliation with Nerdfighteria, though strong, should be made somewhat more official. I think I've always been a Nerdfighter, especially now that I'm actually a part of the nation, but I'd like to put it in text. Ergo, I am making a Nerdfighter resume, a list of credentials and ways I DFTBA.
1. I love books. This needs some elaboration. I was too young to remember when I learned to read and I haven't stopped. I would rather spend time with book characters than most real people, and my favorite thing to do during summers is sit in a chair with a pile of library books I've already read a dozen times and not move for eight hours or so.
2. I taught myself the absolute basics of web/graphic design in sixth grade. I haven't gotten much better at it, but it's still a lot of fun.
3. I like talking about obscure literary devices and essays I think are funny and poetry I think is cool, even when the people I'm talking to don't remotely care.
4. I just realized that the rest of this list can be summarized by three letters and all that they have entailed: NLC.
5. Number four is my most powerful argument, so I think I'll leave it at that.
L
1. I love books. This needs some elaboration. I was too young to remember when I learned to read and I haven't stopped. I would rather spend time with book characters than most real people, and my favorite thing to do during summers is sit in a chair with a pile of library books I've already read a dozen times and not move for eight hours or so.
2. I taught myself the absolute basics of web/graphic design in sixth grade. I haven't gotten much better at it, but it's still a lot of fun.
3. I like talking about obscure literary devices and essays I think are funny and poetry I think is cool, even when the people I'm talking to don't remotely care.
4. I just realized that the rest of this list can be summarized by three letters and all that they have entailed: NLC.
5. Number four is my most powerful argument, so I think I'll leave it at that.
2.03.2010
Getting to the top
I have until the end of third quarter to get to the top and stay there.
Let's do this.
I've been disenchanted with the Ivy League. Harvard and Yale, at least. That's a good thing.
We're weaving in art and it's AWESOME. I don't know why I like it so much, but I do. Who knew, eh?
I'll get beat up in double Wellness tomorrow. Considering the fact that I'm not exactly in bad shape, that's saying something, so I feel bad for my less-fit friends and their sanity.
I think my Calc grade is currently resembling something like a high 80. I'm getting there.
That's my blog graffiti, just so I know I haven't cracked yet and I don't plan to.
Lauren was here...
L
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