Tastes like chicken

I wonder if it's harder to write a poem or a novel.
Both are almost impossibly hard.
Let me rephrase that--both are impossibly hard to do well.
I judge the quality of a book or a poem or any kind of writing by the effect it has on its reader.
As an author, how can you tell the way your writing is affecting the people exposed to it?

Mindreading and writing might be the same thing.
I want to create something I find beautiful and just throw it out there and hope other people find it beautiful too.
Does that count?
Blegh. I know I'm going to be stuck doing this. Writing. At some point or another, and it's just going to be ridiculous.
Oh well.

L
 
[2 MINUTES LATER]
I guess it's like cooking.

[2 MINUTES AFTER THAT]
I can't cook for shit.
I'm a microwave champion, though.

[30 SECONDS LATER]
And cake decorating. I'm really good at that. AND gingerbread houses. I make badass gingerbread houses.

[10 MINUTES AFTER THAT]
I saw a pie-chart of concentrations (prick-speak for majors) for the class of 2014 and was...shocked. I, as you know, am about as Undecided as they come. I have minor issues picking out socks in the morning. Unless they're neon and awesome. Anyways, I have to fall in love with something before I make a decision about it. The problem with this is that I love learning everything except the Taylor Theorem and how to get that "Hot Summer Look in 3 Easy Steps" so this makes some decisions a little more difficult. Anyways, I was enlightened. I learned that .2% (the decimal is in the right place) of admitted students have not decided the general area they would like to concentrate in.
As I'm writing this I realized that I'm not in that minority since I probably said I would like to have a concentration somewhere in the Humanities, but it's the principle of the thing. It makes me want to picket a building or something.

That's about it, I think.

03225

My town kind of freaks me out.
I know I shouldn't be this prejudiced, but it's just really weird to me. The poverty isn't a new thing; I've always been around that. But every time I go into one of the local businesses (i.e. a gas station or the country store because that's about all we're working with here) everyone just seems--defeated. Worn down. Worn out. In Massachusetts poverty seems more aggressive. I don't know why, but there has always been more fight in those people, across all socioeconomic backgrounds. Barnstead just doesn't have any hope for opportunity or expansion or anything. I know a lot of people find the country peaceful and I do too. It's the sadness that bothers me. I don't notice it as much in my area because it's mainly composed of middle-of-the-middle-class retirees from, you guessed it, Massachusetts, but as soon as you go towards the center of town where old families are established, you can just feel the weariness. It's not only the adults either. The kids don't have any prospects here because neither their education nor their circumstances demand it of them. Many of them will stay here for the rest of their lives. If they choose it because they love the area, then that's wonderful. I wish them the best of luck and hope that they can make the most of whatever limited opportunity they have. If they don't see any other option, then I feel sorry that they couldn't live up to their potential.
When I talk about opportunity, I'm not talking about a white collar job that brings home a wheelbarrow full of cash. I mean the opportunity to explore what talents and abilities you have, to make more of yourself and push yourself towards whatever direction you find yourself naturally oriented. Is there money in that? Sometimes, yeah. But it's the options that people need, not the finances. Hell, do you think I'm going to Harvard for the financial security? I don't know what I'd do with money. I honestly don't. I would keep enough to pay for college for whatever kids I may or may not have, set a little aside to live off of when I retire, and probably end up just giving the rest away. Excess is just unappealing. (I am SUCH a lousy American, where did my culture abandon me to a side road...) If I do go into medicine, start making a list of charities that look halfway decent. I'll need someone to take the waste off my hands.
L

NEW OBSESSION! (Another one)

Gerry, I think, may officially not be just a phase anymore. My relationship with him has lasted longer than my relationship with the guy who gave him to me, so I think it's safe to say that we're pretty serious. We're going to be living together in the fall.
Anyways, after my little unsettled blog post last night/this morning, I actually slept (good idea) and felt better after said sleep (always do). For kicks I went on the College Board website because I remembered them having good resources for picking areas of interest/majors/personality types, and I went through their stuff and checked it all out again. They have a few questions you can answer to match you up with a career or a major, AND they have a full-blown surprisingly insightful personality test, which I retook. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it so much that I started hand-profiling everyone I know into one of 16 personality types and then checking the info on each to see how well they matched up. There are four letters that stand for individual characteristics; I/E for introvert/extrovert; N/S for intuitive/sensing; T/F for thinking/feeling; and Z/A for organizing/adaptable. You take an 80-ish question test that determines which option you are for each category, and then you get divided into one of four categories (Troubleshooter, Traditionalist, Catalyst, Visionary), each category with 4 separate trait combinations. So, all in all, they sort you into one of sixteen rough outlines of personality types. They're pretty impressively good at identifying communication styles and motivations, and I was just completely fascinated by it for no good reason. Whatever, I don't care. It was freaking cool.
So, for example, I was labeled INTA (though the test encourages you to take a look at the other four options within the main categories  and I identified with ENTA a bit too). If you mash the two up, it actually kind of works for me, and they tell you some of your general strengths and weaknesses based on your personality type. This is where I decided to get fancy and label everyone else. (My friend Jocelyn is totally an INFZ. I don't know what specific type he is, but when I think Troubleshooter I think V. And come on, I'm a Visionary! XD)
I stopped actually filling out the questions after myself and started just going through each individual letter to profile people. I know my shit, man. So if you want me to tell you who you are then by all means, because I "prize [my] ability to solve complex, abstract problems through analysis and precise thought." Hehehehe.

(PS: Did any of this actually help me sort out what I want to focus on? Well, it didn't tell me anything I don't already know; out of 30 possible career fields it said I would be a good match for 24 of them. Thanks so much.)
L

Written at 2 in the morning on an itouch...

I took some time out of my day today to have a mini-identity crisis.
Seriously now...what am I going to do? For a career--just picking one thing and limiting myself and my time to it? I'm going to have to decide. I just don't know how to do that right now, or ever. Let me tell you, those career aptitude tests might be the most unhelpful tools ever made. If I take the same one twice it contradicts itself because I contradict myself. That's just me. I can be a lot of different things rolled into one. That should be useful in deciding what to do after college, but it isn't. At some level I know that I can't just rush this; I need to wait. I just wish this didn't feel like waiting in the middle of a four-lane highway for an eighteen-wheeler to hit me.

L