So I just came back from Prefrosh weekend at Harvard.
Um. Awesome.
I honestly didn't realize that it was this actual place where actual awesome people lived and I found out that, above all, it was just really really really me. That's all I want in the end: I don't want to be an investment banker. I want to be Lauren.
Ergo, I just committed. It feels damn good.
Go Crimson!
This weekend was ridiculously fun. I met some of Alycia's friends and some random people we picked up along the way, and it turned into this whole solid mini-group. I also introduced myself as Trixie from "all over the place, really" to anyone I met on Saturday and most of Sunday and therefore got a reputation as a pathological liar. That was amusing. Other events included ping pong, falling, door difficulties, direction issues, chess masters, party failures, free ice cream, and some of the funniest stories I've ever heard. It's taken me a while, but I got to a good place, and now I'm completely psyched.
Veritate,
L
4.26.2010
4.22.2010
A Short Revelation
I could create and destroy several small civilizations while I wait for these pictures to upload onto the yearbook site, but I'm blogging instead.
WAIT. I can start Metamorphoses while I wait for this. Or maybe reread I Am The Messenger.
Bye.
L
WAIT. I can start Metamorphoses while I wait for this. Or maybe reread I Am The Messenger.
Bye.
L
4.20.2010
Coming soon to a bookstore near you. Or not.
I am really really really sick of writing about college.
So I'm not going to.
Unfortunately, with my default subject matter gone, I'm kind of left with...my original default subject matter: books!
Let's talk Steinbeck.
I read Travels With Charley while I was hanging around airports when I went down to Virginia. It's not some fictional story set up in Salinas with lots of artificially placed metaphor and symbolism and mice and dead chicks floating in the ocean. I do love those books because I love Steinbeck. This one, though, was different.
Here's the story: Steinbeck realizes that he's been writing about America, a very changed America, without having really seen it in a few decades. To fix this, he gets a truck made into a tricked out camper, grabs his dog, piles books into the vehicle, and takes off across the country from New York. And he writes a book about what he saw.
So not only do you get a fantastic, pinpointed, captured in time, unique perspective of this sprawling glorious mess we call a country, you get to hear about what it was like to be writing about it.
And, for some reason, all the books I've read had finally built up to a point this summer where I realized that I want to write one. I'm not talking a little fluffy novel here, I'm talking about a Book. A good one. It doesn't have to be long, but it has to stand on its own as something worth existing independently. Ask me about the subject when I come up with one. At this rate, this whole thing might happen from the inside of a locked room painted white, but maybe the sedatives will add an interesting flare to my narration.
I'm nowhere near ready yet. This'll take me a couple decades, I know that. Things have a way of building up for me before they actually happen, so I'll just keep on going until one day it all comes crashing out. Until then, maybe I can write some short little pieces of absolute crap to get warmed up; it's not like I won't have people around to help me out. I hear Harvard is good for finding random awesome people who wouldn't mind working on making my writing less shitty.
I was hoping I could avoid the college subject for at least one post, but apparently I just blew it. Whatever. In the next four years, maybe I can work on shifting the balance from stercus to aureum. I don't have high hopes, but it's worth a shot. (See "Carpe diem coleos" on SAe.)
L
So I'm not going to.
Unfortunately, with my default subject matter gone, I'm kind of left with...my original default subject matter: books!
Let's talk Steinbeck.
I read Travels With Charley while I was hanging around airports when I went down to Virginia. It's not some fictional story set up in Salinas with lots of artificially placed metaphor and symbolism and mice and dead chicks floating in the ocean. I do love those books because I love Steinbeck. This one, though, was different.
Here's the story: Steinbeck realizes that he's been writing about America, a very changed America, without having really seen it in a few decades. To fix this, he gets a truck made into a tricked out camper, grabs his dog, piles books into the vehicle, and takes off across the country from New York. And he writes a book about what he saw.
So not only do you get a fantastic, pinpointed, captured in time, unique perspective of this sprawling glorious mess we call a country, you get to hear about what it was like to be writing about it.
And, for some reason, all the books I've read had finally built up to a point this summer where I realized that I want to write one. I'm not talking a little fluffy novel here, I'm talking about a Book. A good one. It doesn't have to be long, but it has to stand on its own as something worth existing independently. Ask me about the subject when I come up with one. At this rate, this whole thing might happen from the inside of a locked room painted white, but maybe the sedatives will add an interesting flare to my narration.
I'm nowhere near ready yet. This'll take me a couple decades, I know that. Things have a way of building up for me before they actually happen, so I'll just keep on going until one day it all comes crashing out. Until then, maybe I can write some short little pieces of absolute crap to get warmed up; it's not like I won't have people around to help me out. I hear Harvard is good for finding random awesome people who wouldn't mind working on making my writing less shitty.
I was hoping I could avoid the college subject for at least one post, but apparently I just blew it. Whatever. In the next four years, maybe I can work on shifting the balance from stercus to aureum. I don't have high hopes, but it's worth a shot. (See "Carpe diem coleos" on SAe.)
L
4.11.2010
Trying to go Crimson
I've kind of given up my quest to be valedictorian. Cool things kept happening to me anyways. I got full tuition from Trinity. Then I got a full ride at Washington and Lee. Then I got into Dartmouth. Then I got into Harvard. I keep thinking that whatever news I get is the most lucky I'll be... and then something tops that. I'm still kind of reeling from it all. One thing that I became ok with was that I won't be valedictorian, and that's fine. I also thought, though, that I wouldn't make High Honor roll for the first time since freshman year because I had a B in physics along with my usual mid-80 in Calc and (GASP) for the first time ever: a B in English. That's literally never happened to me. Ever. And now, for high school at least, I don't think it ever will, because at the last minute I pulled Physics up to a 92 and English up to a 90 xD. It was a nice surprise. I didn't think I had done it, but then I saw my report card online, and there were some A's.
As for Harvard, I've made progress there. It took me a week before I could even say the name of the school in connection with the phrase "I'm going to." It's still a little difficult. That' where I know I'm going though; I know myself well enough to know that's the logical choice I'm going to make; I can't see myself going any place else after that. It still feels, though, like I haven't made the choice... My mind is there, but my heart isn't yet. I'm going down again in a week so I can get it there; I know my emotions will come around eventually. I'm still just shocked, though. It's a lot of shock to get over.
Maybe I should have known all along. The signs are there: crimson (me and the color red go a long way back), veritas (my obsession with truth), and John Adams went there. If that's not a smaller-scale parting of the Red Sea then I don't know what's going on.
[10 minutes later]
You know what, maybe it's not Harvard itself I'm so ambiguous over. It's a great school. Actually, it's arguably the greatest school. There's really no reason for me not to go there; the tuition is really affordable and I know I'll love it.
Maybe it's the fact that my whole life has been oriented around waiting for college and college acceptances since, I don't know, October. Waiting to go to college and going to college don't seem all that different, but in reality it's kind of a crazy transition to get over. Now I'm waiting again. I'm waiting to feel totally committed to the entirely new life that just opened itself up to me nine days ago. It literally was life-changing. And it hasn't even been two weeks. I've been telling anyone who asks that I'm going to Harvard because I know I am. This is true. Still, my mind is far ahead of my perception of myself and let's be honest: college shapes much of who you are. So now I'm trying to reconcile this whole new part of my life with the life I have now, and it's not a bad change, it's a really good one. It is a change, though. And I don't think it will stick if I try to force it. I might just need time to let this assimilate into what I already know because this really is beyond what I imagined.
See, who needs a therapist when you have blogger.
L
As for Harvard, I've made progress there. It took me a week before I could even say the name of the school in connection with the phrase "I'm going to." It's still a little difficult. That' where I know I'm going though; I know myself well enough to know that's the logical choice I'm going to make; I can't see myself going any place else after that. It still feels, though, like I haven't made the choice... My mind is there, but my heart isn't yet. I'm going down again in a week so I can get it there; I know my emotions will come around eventually. I'm still just shocked, though. It's a lot of shock to get over.
Maybe I should have known all along. The signs are there: crimson (me and the color red go a long way back), veritas (my obsession with truth), and John Adams went there. If that's not a smaller-scale parting of the Red Sea then I don't know what's going on.
[10 minutes later]
You know what, maybe it's not Harvard itself I'm so ambiguous over. It's a great school. Actually, it's arguably the greatest school. There's really no reason for me not to go there; the tuition is really affordable and I know I'll love it.
Maybe it's the fact that my whole life has been oriented around waiting for college and college acceptances since, I don't know, October. Waiting to go to college and going to college don't seem all that different, but in reality it's kind of a crazy transition to get over. Now I'm waiting again. I'm waiting to feel totally committed to the entirely new life that just opened itself up to me nine days ago. It literally was life-changing. And it hasn't even been two weeks. I've been telling anyone who asks that I'm going to Harvard because I know I am. This is true. Still, my mind is far ahead of my perception of myself and let's be honest: college shapes much of who you are. So now I'm trying to reconcile this whole new part of my life with the life I have now, and it's not a bad change, it's a really good one. It is a change, though. And I don't think it will stick if I try to force it. I might just need time to let this assimilate into what I already know because this really is beyond what I imagined.
See, who needs a therapist when you have blogger.
L
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